Blue Sky

Dear diary, my days were so heavy, something like missing in my life. I know the reason but I can't tell you this time. Jakarta is raining all the time over and over again, never stop. Some part in Jakarta got flooding everywhere till 2 meters. Wow, this year more worse then last year I guess.

Dear diary, do you think God still love me? I know the answer but why this time I don't feel like that. But I should have faith, God still love me, although I am far from Him. Already a few day I am trying to ask His forgiveness because I know I seldom go to church and when in church my mind is not focus to His words from the pastor.

Dear diary, I know so well God loves me and care of me, I still remember the memories when I go to an adventure, how I get trouble with the strange man and also how I get easy when every hotel, inn and homestay full. How I get the "people" kind with me in the train and help me to find a way. Dear diary, I know I am not good person to give good words for that. Sometimes I miss to be speaker in church to tell the people how is God so bless me and help me and care me in all my journey in my life.

I know, my life is not perfect and also my mind and my body, I know exactly it is not perfect because nobody perfect. I am still try to find desire of my life, find my way to find good job and also good soul mate to help me and teach me about relationship, trust, beloved, understanding, strong to make good relationship till the world end, at least till my last breath. 

I am not such a romantic like in my favorite movie about romantic scene. I want someone teach me about that. I also belong to be loved, I also don't expected hurt day by day and tears turn from my eyes and my feeling become blue. Dear diary, feeling so sad really tiring then you go travel in the rain season. Although you got trouble, sick but you have happy feeling about the adventure and also the day after that. When all gone, it is like someone throw you from the high building to the down.

Dear diary, my sadness is enough and tomorrow I will back to keep spirit and then I will keep it and sent it. Whatever if it can't useful or just become spam I don't care, at least I do try best as I can do. I have nothing to return it. But I have story to make it back maybe if this person want to do it, if this person smart. Dear diary, I don't know what this person think about me and what I am thinking about this person. Everything is blur and hurt, but I hope one day it will be clear and misunderstanding will be gone and it just become good way both of us and get the success together as professional relationship only. If it can be, I don't know.

I don't have power to change the past, but I want do best for the day. Although for survive so difficult this time. But I am trying and try to be happy although nobody know what I am feeling and I am doing. Dear diary, I know just God know about this. That is ok, when people ask am I ok. Then I will say and smile I am Ok.

                                      I imagine the happiness but I got the sadness
                                     I imagine the freedom but I got the jail
                                  That is life never get what you want

Everybody has a dream and dream is something wonderful when you think and feel about it. The happiness and ending with the romantic and success life. But when the dream is just dream? Like weslife song, band from Irland said

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder (wonder) of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

Believe your dream and it will be something good happened, if it can't be happened when you already dream? what will you do and say?

The Bible say about the Happiness

I imagine the happiness but I got the sadness
I imagine the freedom but I got the jail
That is life never get what you want

Everybody has a dream and dream is something wonderful when you think and feel about it. The happiness and ending with the romantic and success life. But when the dream is just dream? Like weslife song, band from Irland said

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder (wonder) of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

Believe your dream and it will be something good happened, if it can't be happened when you already dream? what will you do and say?

The Bible said about Happiness


Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.

Psalm 1:1-6 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; ...

John 16:24 Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

John 14:1 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.

Psalm 34:8 Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

Isaiah 26:3-4 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

Luke 6:43-49 “For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: ...

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Matthew 5:3-10 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. ...

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Ecclesiastes 2:1-26 I said in my heart, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure; enjoy yourself.” But behold, this also was vanity. I said of laughter, “It is mad,” and of pleasure, “What use is it?” I searched with my heart how to cheer my body with wine—my heart still guiding me with wisdom—and how to lay hold on folly, till I might see what was good for the children of man to do under heaven during the few days of their life. I made great works. I built houses and planted vineyards for myself. I made myself gardens and parks, and planted in them all kinds of fruit trees. ...

Proverbs 16:20 : Whoever gives thought to the word will discover good, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord.

John 3:16 :  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Ecclesiastes 7:14 : In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.