Dear diary, a few days was like hell in my activity. Once again, someone made me cry and cry never end. I know I am still innocent and stupid sometimes, but I never think someone will do like that with me. Misunderstanding and Miscommunication it should be not like that. What should I do to fix it and make my project clear and done. But I will never give up to ask my sponsor to finish the agreement. Whatever the sponsor mind, I will never give up and done my project I did last year.
Dear diary, some people think my life is like fairy tale but honestly my life is like hell. That is what I feel now. I know maybe I seldom go to church anymore, I seldom read Bible anymore and the devil win me and make me fall down in the deep hole. I can't see light in my life. But that is not making me give up. Today, I wake up and ask forgiveness to God and read Bible. The most chapter I like when I feel down is
Psalm 23 The Lord is my Shepherd
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
This chapter make me feel little better, I am not afraid because God will care of me. But I don't know why and when; But I do believe His has good plan for me. I never doubt it, ups sometimes I doubt it because I am normal. Don't doubt God because your own thinking, but I am normal, I am human who has negative thinking too. What should I do? What should I think?
What about me? Does God forget about me?
Close to God is one way to make my spiritual back and make my feeling better. Although this is way is not easy and difficult to do. When your hope gone and doubt in your mind. Ah God, I wish I am strong and I wish I can do the best to find the way out to this problem.
Dear God, I want feel disappointed because I did rejected some jobs which come to me. But this time, I need it, please help me find one best job with good salary and also please help me to make my small shopping online get better. So, I still survive in big city because You never leave me alone, like people and some friends did it to me. Because I don't have anything anymore. I am broke, including my sponsor leave me because my sponsor I blew everything.
Dear God, I want feel disappointed because I did rejected some jobs which come to me. But this time, I need it, please help me find one best job with good salary and also please help me to make my small shopping online get better. So, I still survive in big city because You never leave me alone, like people and some friends did it to me. Because I don't have anything anymore. I am broke, including my sponsor leave me because my sponsor I blew everything.
Pada
7:38 AM
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