Keep Calm when the Storm Come

Dear diary, how are you? I am missing you so much. After I have my secret diary, I seldom to write in here. It doesn't mean I forget about you. January will be finish in nine days again. Then it will be February will be change this month, I am so excited and also wonder about this month. Can you imagine when we have many problems in alive and we try to keep calm! That is so difficult and I know that.

Dear diary, do you want to know what I do when I feel so down and nothing? I read about the sadness story to make me feel graceful in every part in my life. January make my days so blue and many problems come in this month. I really want to run away and stop breathing but I am also afraid to die. Because I want and I am waiting something special in my life.

I don't know if it will be real. I just hope, summer will be come soon. I am afraid and excited in the same time. No money is crazy life, this month I don't get project and I really sad about it. Keep calm when the storm come and I try do that. I have many ideas till waiting I get new project, So I am practice drawing and every time I am drawing I become better and also writing. Although sometimes I dunno what should I write for my own project, but I do!

Dear diary, do you believe after rain will be has rainbow? But simple rain never give you rainbow. Rainbow just come when the storm stop. so do you believe it, I wish after my storm stop I will see the rainbow in my life and heart.

Dear diary, I promise to myself to stop crying but I can't stop crying either. Silly me right, in toilet I can cry, in bed I am crying, watching TV suddenly my tears come out, when reading my tears out again. So silly me right? I hate being so sensitive and weak because I know I am strong woman and never give up to do anything although around the world judge my decision and mock me so badly. Although I don't have friend to share my problems but I have Lord to help me find out my way. 

Dear diary, is wrong if I won't go to Lord house in this month. I do absent in many days and weeks because I won't go there and I just wanna be "naughty" daughter for longer time but I always think about Lord too. Keep calm when the storm come is not easy but I do try as the best I am. I am so happy in the tears in my eyes every time. 

Love the day whatever it come and feel so peace in every part of my life, because I am waiting rainbow in my life in the summer season.

Regards

lovely sweet me